Male Guy makes several female Co-Workers uncomfortable. What course of action to take?
A friend of mine works in the social sector in Germany. She works at a school for mentally disabled children. The school is loosely related to "Waldorff"-Philosophy, which apparrenrly makes sexuality a taboo topic. She has told me several stories of a guy who continuously makes advances on female collegues, including her. He has a reputation to be someone to stay away from, but it's proving hard to take actions against him.
Most women don't immediately go to teachers because they see the acts done against them too minor to be mentioned (an inappropiate shoulder touch here, an unwanted hug there)
However my friend had an explicit experience where he wanted her to hug him, she refused and got in her car, but he pulled her out, forcefully hugged and kissed her despite her declining and struggles.
Later she learnt that a lot of girls have stories to share but never dare to. So we have a ton of minor stories and one major one. There might be more that are unknown so far.
The school has no HR department to speak of. My friend went to her supervisor roughly two to three months after the incident. He told her that he would have fired the guy immediately, but he said it's statute-barred by now. There also seens to be some fear in regard to her supervisors, as the harrassers mother apparently is a highly respected doctor at the workplace.
The higher-ups are generally aware of the situation but refuse to take action for "unknown reasons".
She has been told if one more "concrete incident" happens, they will let him go (and he will be banned from working in the social sector).
He does get called in monthly for talks about his behaviour but without effect.
He also behaves suspiciously around the mentally disabled children and teenagers, but it's much too vague for allegations.
What course of action can my friend take to make sure she, her collegues, and the children remain safe from the harrasser?
unprofessional-behavior germany harassment sexual-harassment
edited 1 hour ago
Joe Strazzere
241k1177041001
asked 3 hours ago
anon
322137
|
show 1 more comment
A friend of mine works in the social sector in Germany. She works at a school for mentally disabled children. The school is loosely related to "Waldorff"-Philosophy, which apparrenrly makes sexuality a taboo topic. She has told me several stories of a guy who continuously makes advances on female collegues, including her. He has a reputation to be someone to stay away from, but it's proving hard to take actions against him.
Most women don't immediately go to teachers because they see the acts done against them too minor to be mentioned (an inappropiate shoulder touch here, an unwanted hug there)
However my friend had an explicit experience where he wanted her to hug him, she refused and got in her car, but he pulled her out, forcefully hugged and kissed her despite her declining and struggles.
Later she learnt that a lot of girls have stories to share but never dare to. So we have a ton of minor stories and one major one. There might be more that are unknown so far.
The school has no HR department to speak of. My friend went to her supervisor roughly two to three months after the incident. He told her that he would have fired the guy immediately, but he said it's statute-barred by now. There also seens to be some fear in regard to her supervisors, as the harrassers mother apparently is a highly respected doctor at the workplace.
The higher-ups are generally aware of the situation but refuse to take action for "unknown reasons".
She has been told if one more "concrete incident" happens, they will let him go (and he will be banned from working in the social sector).
He does get called in monthly for talks about his behaviour but without effect.
He also behaves suspiciously around the mentally disabled children and teenagers, but it's much too vague for allegations.
What course of action can my friend take to make sure she, her collegues, and the children remain safe from the harrasser?
unprofessional-behavior germany harassment sexual-harassment
edited 1 hour ago
Joe Strazzere
241k1177041001
asked 3 hours ago
anon
322137
2
Male Guy is redundant. Either that, or I need a new dictionary!
– enhzflep
3 hours ago
Yeah I colloquiallly call anyone a guy but you're right XD
– anon
3 hours ago
@enhzflep don't assume genders 8D
– DigitalBlade969
2 hours ago
2
@DigitalBlade969 - Why would I not do so in a case in which they're clearly labelled? The simple fact of the matter is that either are appropriate and the second is merely redundant. Guy is a word that means male. A "male male" or a "Guy guy" are no less nonsensical. I'm not expanding the meaning of words simply to accommodate those uncomfortable with their own reality. When the rest of the world does, I'll fall in step to avoid friction. Today, dictionaries hold it that the word guy refers to someone with both the X and the Y chromosome - I do too!
– enhzflep
2 hours ago
@enhzflep well that escalated quickly. (; The culprit might identify as an attack helicopter for all we know. nonetheless, my remark was tongue in cheek, a satire of sorts if you will regarding gender identities and the phrase that is thrown around willy nilly...I happen to agree that male guy (singular) is redundant.NOW, male guys arguably is not redundant, as it actually specifies one of the genders "guys" can be used to "address a group of people of either sex" indeed according to the cambridge dictionary.Headache ensues...
– DigitalBlade969
1 hour ago
|
show 1 more comment
A friend of mine works in the social sector in Germany. She works at a school for mentally disabled children. The school is loosely related to "Waldorff"-Philosophy, which apparrenrly makes sexuality a taboo topic. She has told me several stories of a guy who continuously makes advances on female collegues, including her. He has a reputation to be someone to stay away from, but it's proving hard to take actions against him.
Most women don't immediately go to teachers because they see the acts done against them too minor to be mentioned (an inappropiate shoulder touch here, an unwanted hug there)
However my friend had an explicit experience where he wanted her to hug him, she refused and got in her car, but he pulled her out, forcefully hugged and kissed her despite her declining and struggles.
Later she learnt that a lot of girls have stories to share but never dare to. So we have a ton of minor stories and one major one. There might be more that are unknown so far.
The school has no HR department to speak of. My friend went to her supervisor roughly two to three months after the incident. He told her that he would have fired the guy immediately, but he said it's statute-barred by now. There also seens to be some fear in regard to her supervisors, as the harrassers mother apparently is a highly respected doctor at the workplace.
The higher-ups are generally aware of the situation but refuse to take action for "unknown reasons".
She has been told if one more "concrete incident" happens, they will let him go (and he will be banned from working in the social sector).
He does get called in monthly for talks about his behaviour but without effect.
He also behaves suspiciously around the mentally disabled children and teenagers, but it's much too vague for allegations.
What course of action can my friend take to make sure she, her collegues, and the children remain safe from the harrasser?
unprofessional-behavior germany harassment sexual-harassment
edited 1 hour ago
Joe Strazzere
241k1177041001
asked 3 hours ago
anon
322137
A friend of mine works in the social sector in Germany. She works at a school for mentally disabled children. The school is loosely related to "Waldorff"-Philosophy, which apparrenrly makes sexuality a taboo topic. She has told me several stories of a guy who continuously makes advances on female collegues, including her. He has a reputation to be someone to stay away from, but it's proving hard to take actions against him.
Most women don't immediately go to teachers because they see the acts done against them too minor to be mentioned (an inappropiate shoulder touch here, an unwanted hug there)
However my friend had an explicit experience where he wanted her to hug him, she refused and got in her car, but he pulled her out, forcefully hugged and kissed her despite her declining and struggles.
Later she learnt that a lot of girls have stories to share but never dare to. So we have a ton of minor stories and one major one. There might be more that are unknown so far.
The school has no HR department to speak of. My friend went to her supervisor roughly two to three months after the incident. He told her that he would have fired the guy immediately, but he said it's statute-barred by now. There also seens to be some fear in regard to her supervisors, as the harrassers mother apparently is a highly respected doctor at the workplace.
The higher-ups are generally aware of the situation but refuse to take action for "unknown reasons".
She has been told if one more "concrete incident" happens, they will let him go (and he will be banned from working in the social sector).
He does get called in monthly for talks about his behaviour but without effect.
He also behaves suspiciously around the mentally disabled children and teenagers, but it's much too vague for allegations.
What course of action can my friend take to make sure she, her collegues, and the children remain safe from the harrasser?
unprofessional-behavior germany harassment sexual-harassment
unprofessional-behavior germany harassment sexual-harassment
edited 1 hour ago
Joe Strazzere
241k1177041001
asked 3 hours ago
anon
322137
edited 1 hour ago
Joe Strazzere
241k1177041001
asked 3 hours ago
anon
322137
edited 1 hour ago
Joe Strazzere
241k1177041001
edited 1 hour ago
Joe Strazzere
241k1177041001
edited 1 hour ago
Joe Strazzere
241k1177041001
241k1177041001
asked 3 hours ago
anon
322137
asked 3 hours ago
anon
322137
asked 3 hours ago
anon
322137
322137
2
Male Guy is redundant. Either that, or I need a new dictionary!
– enhzflep
3 hours ago
Yeah I colloquiallly call anyone a guy but you're right XD
– anon
3 hours ago
@enhzflep don't assume genders 8D
– DigitalBlade969
2 hours ago
2
@DigitalBlade969 - Why would I not do so in a case in which they're clearly labelled? The simple fact of the matter is that either are appropriate and the second is merely redundant. Guy is a word that means male. A "male male" or a "Guy guy" are no less nonsensical. I'm not expanding the meaning of words simply to accommodate those uncomfortable with their own reality. When the rest of the world does, I'll fall in step to avoid friction. Today, dictionaries hold it that the word guy refers to someone with both the X and the Y chromosome - I do too!
– enhzflep
2 hours ago
@enhzflep well that escalated quickly. (; The culprit might identify as an attack helicopter for all we know. nonetheless, my remark was tongue in cheek, a satire of sorts if you will regarding gender identities and the phrase that is thrown around willy nilly...I happen to agree that male guy (singular) is redundant.NOW, male guys arguably is not redundant, as it actually specifies one of the genders "guys" can be used to "address a group of people of either sex" indeed according to the cambridge dictionary.Headache ensues...
– DigitalBlade969
1 hour ago
|
show 1 more comment
2
Male Guy is redundant. Either that, or I need a new dictionary!
– enhzflep
3 hours ago
Yeah I colloquiallly call anyone a guy but you're right XD
– anon
3 hours ago
@enhzflep don't assume genders 8D
– DigitalBlade969
2 hours ago
2
@DigitalBlade969 - Why would I not do so in a case in which they're clearly labelled? The simple fact of the matter is that either are appropriate and the second is merely redundant. Guy is a word that means male. A "male male" or a "Guy guy" are no less nonsensical. I'm not expanding the meaning of words simply to accommodate those uncomfortable with their own reality. When the rest of the world does, I'll fall in step to avoid friction. Today, dictionaries hold it that the word guy refers to someone with both the X and the Y chromosome - I do too!
– enhzflep
2 hours ago
@enhzflep well that escalated quickly. (; The culprit might identify as an attack helicopter for all we know. nonetheless, my remark was tongue in cheek, a satire of sorts if you will regarding gender identities and the phrase that is thrown around willy nilly...I happen to agree that male guy (singular) is redundant.NOW, male guys arguably is not redundant, as it actually specifies one of the genders "guys" can be used to "address a group of people of either sex" indeed according to the cambridge dictionary.Headache ensues...
– DigitalBlade969
1 hour ago
2
2
Male Guy is redundant. Either that, or I need a new dictionary!
– enhzflep
3 hours ago
Male Guy is redundant. Either that, or I need a new dictionary!
– enhzflep
3 hours ago
Yeah I colloquiallly call anyone a guy but you're right XD
– anon
3 hours ago
Yeah I colloquiallly call anyone a guy but you're right XD
– anon
3 hours ago
@enhzflep don't assume genders 8D
– DigitalBlade969
2 hours ago
@enhzflep don't assume genders 8D
– DigitalBlade969
2 hours ago
2
2
@DigitalBlade969 - Why would I not do so in a case in which they're clearly labelled? The simple fact of the matter is that either are appropriate and the second is merely redundant. Guy is a word that means male. A "male male" or a "Guy guy" are no less nonsensical. I'm not expanding the meaning of words simply to accommodate those uncomfortable with their own reality. When the rest of the world does, I'll fall in step to avoid friction. Today, dictionaries hold it that the word guy refers to someone with both the X and the Y chromosome - I do too!
– enhzflep
2 hours ago
@DigitalBlade969 - Why would I not do so in a case in which they're clearly labelled? The simple fact of the matter is that either are appropriate and the second is merely redundant. Guy is a word that means male. A "male male" or a "Guy guy" are no less nonsensical. I'm not expanding the meaning of words simply to accommodate those uncomfortable with their own reality. When the rest of the world does, I'll fall in step to avoid friction. Today, dictionaries hold it that the word guy refers to someone with both the X and the Y chromosome - I do too!
– enhzflep
2 hours ago
@enhzflep well that escalated quickly. (; The culprit might identify as an attack helicopter for all we know. nonetheless, my remark was tongue in cheek, a satire of sorts if you will regarding gender identities and the phrase that is thrown around willy nilly...I happen to agree that male guy (singular) is redundant.NOW, male guys arguably is not redundant, as it actually specifies one of the genders "guys" can be used to "address a group of people of either sex" indeed according to the cambridge dictionary.Headache ensues...
– DigitalBlade969
1 hour ago
@enhzflep well that escalated quickly. (; The culprit might identify as an attack helicopter for all we know. nonetheless, my remark was tongue in cheek, a satire of sorts if you will regarding gender identities and the phrase that is thrown around willy nilly...I happen to agree that male guy (singular) is redundant.NOW, male guys arguably is not redundant, as it actually specifies one of the genders "guys" can be used to "address a group of people of either sex" indeed according to the cambridge dictionary.Headache ensues...
– DigitalBlade969
1 hour ago
|
show 1 more comment
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
What would you do if it was theft or a violent attack?
Do the same.
- make sure they are clear sexual harassments or assaults (which your example is)
- get a lawyer for legal advice and potentially sue
- go to police and report the incident
- file a complaint with the "Schulaufsichtsbehörde"
Schools, especially private ones have just like companies vested interests in downplaying or deflecting allegations.
By including the authorities you'll get a much higher chance that your grievance is taken seriously and consequently dealt with by objective third parties.
answered 3 hours ago
DigitalBlade969
4,3581419
add a comment |
Document all those "minor" incidents towards you and strange behavior towards children with dates and witnesses. Then approach your superiors together.
answered 3 hours ago
BigMadAndy
10.3k81951
add a comment |
Forcibly hugging and kissing is not minor. It is likely assault and a criminal offense. Even in Germany, this should be grounds for firing.
From what I have read, the statute of limitations on sexual assault is at least three years so I think the supervisor is abiding taking action. This is extremely concerning considering this kind of sexual predator should not be working with mentally disabled children.
I suggest escalating this to the police to press charges against the individual.
Alternatively, you might consider sharing the story of a sexual predator working with mentally disabled children, including that the supervisor took no action after a criminal sexual assault, with local news media (TV or newspaper) or social media. This is the kind of story that goes viral and wins journalism awards.
answered 3 hours ago
Eric
4,39211227
Regardless the supervisor said 3months is too late. What should she respond to that?
– anon
2 hours ago
@anon with a lawyer
– bruglesco
2 hours ago
While what you write is true, I don't see how this answers the question as asked, namely what action OP should take. Could you edit to clarify?
– sleske
52 mins ago
@sleske I included my comments in my answer
– Eric
41 mins ago
@anon Please see my rescued answer.
– Eric
40 mins ago
add a comment |
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3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
What would you do if it was theft or a violent attack?
Do the same.
- make sure they are clear sexual harassments or assaults (which your example is)
- get a lawyer for legal advice and potentially sue
- go to police and report the incident
- file a complaint with the "Schulaufsichtsbehörde"
Schools, especially private ones have just like companies vested interests in downplaying or deflecting allegations.
By including the authorities you'll get a much higher chance that your grievance is taken seriously and consequently dealt with by objective third parties.
answered 3 hours ago
DigitalBlade969
4,3581419
add a comment |
What would you do if it was theft or a violent attack?
Do the same.
- make sure they are clear sexual harassments or assaults (which your example is)
- get a lawyer for legal advice and potentially sue
- go to police and report the incident
- file a complaint with the "Schulaufsichtsbehörde"
Schools, especially private ones have just like companies vested interests in downplaying or deflecting allegations.
By including the authorities you'll get a much higher chance that your grievance is taken seriously and consequently dealt with by objective third parties.
answered 3 hours ago
DigitalBlade969
4,3581419
add a comment |
What would you do if it was theft or a violent attack?
Do the same.
- make sure they are clear sexual harassments or assaults (which your example is)
- get a lawyer for legal advice and potentially sue
- go to police and report the incident
- file a complaint with the "Schulaufsichtsbehörde"
Schools, especially private ones have just like companies vested interests in downplaying or deflecting allegations.
By including the authorities you'll get a much higher chance that your grievance is taken seriously and consequently dealt with by objective third parties.
answered 3 hours ago
DigitalBlade969
4,3581419
What would you do if it was theft or a violent attack?
Do the same.
- make sure they are clear sexual harassments or assaults (which your example is)
- get a lawyer for legal advice and potentially sue
- go to police and report the incident
- file a complaint with the "Schulaufsichtsbehörde"
Schools, especially private ones have just like companies vested interests in downplaying or deflecting allegations.
By including the authorities you'll get a much higher chance that your grievance is taken seriously and consequently dealt with by objective third parties.
answered 3 hours ago
DigitalBlade969
4,3581419
edited 2 hours ago
answered 3 hours ago
DigitalBlade969
4,3581419
answered 3 hours ago
DigitalBlade969
4,3581419
answered 3 hours ago
DigitalBlade969
4,3581419
4,3581419
add a comment |
add a comment |
Document all those "minor" incidents towards you and strange behavior towards children with dates and witnesses. Then approach your superiors together.
answered 3 hours ago
BigMadAndy
10.3k81951
add a comment |
Document all those "minor" incidents towards you and strange behavior towards children with dates and witnesses. Then approach your superiors together.
answered 3 hours ago
BigMadAndy
10.3k81951
add a comment |
Document all those "minor" incidents towards you and strange behavior towards children with dates and witnesses. Then approach your superiors together.
answered 3 hours ago
BigMadAndy
10.3k81951
Document all those "minor" incidents towards you and strange behavior towards children with dates and witnesses. Then approach your superiors together.
answered 3 hours ago
BigMadAndy
10.3k81951
answered 3 hours ago
BigMadAndy
10.3k81951
answered 3 hours ago
BigMadAndy
10.3k81951
answered 3 hours ago
BigMadAndy
10.3k81951
10.3k81951
add a comment |
add a comment |
Forcibly hugging and kissing is not minor. It is likely assault and a criminal offense. Even in Germany, this should be grounds for firing.
From what I have read, the statute of limitations on sexual assault is at least three years so I think the supervisor is abiding taking action. This is extremely concerning considering this kind of sexual predator should not be working with mentally disabled children.
I suggest escalating this to the police to press charges against the individual.
Alternatively, you might consider sharing the story of a sexual predator working with mentally disabled children, including that the supervisor took no action after a criminal sexual assault, with local news media (TV or newspaper) or social media. This is the kind of story that goes viral and wins journalism awards.
answered 3 hours ago
Eric
4,39211227
Regardless the supervisor said 3months is too late. What should she respond to that?
– anon
2 hours ago
@anon with a lawyer
– bruglesco
2 hours ago
While what you write is true, I don't see how this answers the question as asked, namely what action OP should take. Could you edit to clarify?
– sleske
52 mins ago
@sleske I included my comments in my answer
– Eric
41 mins ago
@anon Please see my rescued answer.
– Eric
40 mins ago
add a comment |
Forcibly hugging and kissing is not minor. It is likely assault and a criminal offense. Even in Germany, this should be grounds for firing.
From what I have read, the statute of limitations on sexual assault is at least three years so I think the supervisor is abiding taking action. This is extremely concerning considering this kind of sexual predator should not be working with mentally disabled children.
I suggest escalating this to the police to press charges against the individual.
Alternatively, you might consider sharing the story of a sexual predator working with mentally disabled children, including that the supervisor took no action after a criminal sexual assault, with local news media (TV or newspaper) or social media. This is the kind of story that goes viral and wins journalism awards.
answered 3 hours ago
Eric
4,39211227
Regardless the supervisor said 3months is too late. What should she respond to that?
– anon
2 hours ago
@anon with a lawyer
– bruglesco
2 hours ago
While what you write is true, I don't see how this answers the question as asked, namely what action OP should take. Could you edit to clarify?
– sleske
52 mins ago
@sleske I included my comments in my answer
– Eric
41 mins ago
@anon Please see my rescued answer.
– Eric
40 mins ago
add a comment |
Forcibly hugging and kissing is not minor. It is likely assault and a criminal offense. Even in Germany, this should be grounds for firing.
From what I have read, the statute of limitations on sexual assault is at least three years so I think the supervisor is abiding taking action. This is extremely concerning considering this kind of sexual predator should not be working with mentally disabled children.
I suggest escalating this to the police to press charges against the individual.
Alternatively, you might consider sharing the story of a sexual predator working with mentally disabled children, including that the supervisor took no action after a criminal sexual assault, with local news media (TV or newspaper) or social media. This is the kind of story that goes viral and wins journalism awards.
answered 3 hours ago
Eric
4,39211227
Forcibly hugging and kissing is not minor. It is likely assault and a criminal offense. Even in Germany, this should be grounds for firing.
From what I have read, the statute of limitations on sexual assault is at least three years so I think the supervisor is abiding taking action. This is extremely concerning considering this kind of sexual predator should not be working with mentally disabled children.
I suggest escalating this to the police to press charges against the individual.
Alternatively, you might consider sharing the story of a sexual predator working with mentally disabled children, including that the supervisor took no action after a criminal sexual assault, with local news media (TV or newspaper) or social media. This is the kind of story that goes viral and wins journalism awards.
answered 3 hours ago
Eric
4,39211227
edited 41 mins ago
answered 3 hours ago
Eric
4,39211227
answered 3 hours ago
Eric
4,39211227
answered 3 hours ago
Eric
4,39211227
4,39211227
Regardless the supervisor said 3months is too late. What should she respond to that?
– anon
2 hours ago
@anon with a lawyer
– bruglesco
2 hours ago
While what you write is true, I don't see how this answers the question as asked, namely what action OP should take. Could you edit to clarify?
– sleske
52 mins ago
@sleske I included my comments in my answer
– Eric
41 mins ago
@anon Please see my rescued answer.
– Eric
40 mins ago
add a comment |
Regardless the supervisor said 3months is too late. What should she respond to that?
– anon
2 hours ago
@anon with a lawyer
– bruglesco
2 hours ago
While what you write is true, I don't see how this answers the question as asked, namely what action OP should take. Could you edit to clarify?
– sleske
52 mins ago
@sleske I included my comments in my answer
– Eric
41 mins ago
@anon Please see my rescued answer.
– Eric
40 mins ago
Regardless the supervisor said 3months is too late. What should she respond to that?
– anon
2 hours ago
Regardless the supervisor said 3months is too late. What should she respond to that?
– anon
2 hours ago
@anon with a lawyer
– bruglesco
2 hours ago
@anon with a lawyer
– bruglesco
2 hours ago
While what you write is true, I don't see how this answers the question as asked, namely what action OP should take. Could you edit to clarify?
– sleske
52 mins ago
While what you write is true, I don't see how this answers the question as asked, namely what action OP should take. Could you edit to clarify?
– sleske
52 mins ago
@sleske I included my comments in my answer
– Eric
41 mins ago
@sleske I included my comments in my answer
– Eric
41 mins ago
@anon Please see my rescued answer.
– Eric
40 mins ago
@anon Please see my rescued answer.
– Eric
40 mins ago
add a comment |
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2
Male Guy is redundant. Either that, or I need a new dictionary!
– enhzflep
3 hours ago
Yeah I colloquiallly call anyone a guy but you're right XD
– anon
3 hours ago
@enhzflep don't assume genders 8D
– DigitalBlade969
2 hours ago
2
@DigitalBlade969 - Why would I not do so in a case in which they're clearly labelled? The simple fact of the matter is that either are appropriate and the second is merely redundant. Guy is a word that means male. A "male male" or a "Guy guy" are no less nonsensical. I'm not expanding the meaning of words simply to accommodate those uncomfortable with their own reality. When the rest of the world does, I'll fall in step to avoid friction. Today, dictionaries hold it that the word guy refers to someone with both the X and the Y chromosome - I do too!
– enhzflep
2 hours ago
@enhzflep well that escalated quickly. (; The culprit might identify as an attack helicopter for all we know. nonetheless, my remark was tongue in cheek, a satire of sorts if you will regarding gender identities and the phrase that is thrown around willy nilly...I happen to agree that male guy (singular) is redundant.NOW, male guys arguably is not redundant, as it actually specifies one of the genders "guys" can be used to "address a group of people of either sex" indeed according to the cambridge dictionary.Headache ensues...
– DigitalBlade969
1 hour ago