Male makes several female Co-Workers uncomfortable. What course of action to take?












7














A friend of mine works in the social sector in Germany. She works at a school for mentally disabled children. The school is loosely related to "Waldorff"-Philosophy, which apparrenrly makes sexuality a taboo topic. She has told me several stories of a guy who continuously makes advances on female collegues, including her. He has a reputation to be someone to stay away from, but it's proving hard to take actions against him.



Most women don't immediately go to teachers because they see the acts done against them too minor to be mentioned (an inappropiate shoulder touch here, an unwanted hug there)
However my friend had an explicit experience where he wanted her to hug him, she refused and got in her car, but he pulled her out, forcefully hugged and kissed her despite her declining and struggles.
Later she learnt that a lot of girls have stories to share but never dare to. So we have a ton of minor stories and one major one. There might be more that are unknown so far.



The school has no HR department to speak of. My friend went to her supervisor roughly two to three months after the incident. He told her that he would have fired the guy immediately, but he said it's statute-barred by now. There also seens to be some fear in regard to her supervisors, as the harrassers mother apparently is a highly respected doctor at the workplace.
The higher-ups are generally aware of the situation but refuse to take action for "unknown reasons".
She has been told if one more "concrete incident" happens, they will let him go (and he will be banned from working in the social sector).
He does get called in monthly for talks about his behaviour but without effect.
He also behaves suspiciously around the mentally disabled children and teenagers, but it's much too vague for allegations.



What course of action can my friend take to make sure she, her collegues, and the children remain safe from the harrasser?










share|improve this question




















  • 1




    Just a note: The claim about the incident being "statute-barred" seems very questionable to me. At the very least the boss could formally admonish the employee (Abmahnung), there is no time limit for that. And while an immediate dismissal (fristlose Kündigung) must happen within two weeks, that's two weeks from when the employer learns about an incident. So it looks like the boss is either misinformed, or actively stalling.
    – sleske
    4 hours ago


















7














A friend of mine works in the social sector in Germany. She works at a school for mentally disabled children. The school is loosely related to "Waldorff"-Philosophy, which apparrenrly makes sexuality a taboo topic. She has told me several stories of a guy who continuously makes advances on female collegues, including her. He has a reputation to be someone to stay away from, but it's proving hard to take actions against him.



Most women don't immediately go to teachers because they see the acts done against them too minor to be mentioned (an inappropiate shoulder touch here, an unwanted hug there)
However my friend had an explicit experience where he wanted her to hug him, she refused and got in her car, but he pulled her out, forcefully hugged and kissed her despite her declining and struggles.
Later she learnt that a lot of girls have stories to share but never dare to. So we have a ton of minor stories and one major one. There might be more that are unknown so far.



The school has no HR department to speak of. My friend went to her supervisor roughly two to three months after the incident. He told her that he would have fired the guy immediately, but he said it's statute-barred by now. There also seens to be some fear in regard to her supervisors, as the harrassers mother apparently is a highly respected doctor at the workplace.
The higher-ups are generally aware of the situation but refuse to take action for "unknown reasons".
She has been told if one more "concrete incident" happens, they will let him go (and he will be banned from working in the social sector).
He does get called in monthly for talks about his behaviour but without effect.
He also behaves suspiciously around the mentally disabled children and teenagers, but it's much too vague for allegations.



What course of action can my friend take to make sure she, her collegues, and the children remain safe from the harrasser?










share|improve this question




















  • 1




    Just a note: The claim about the incident being "statute-barred" seems very questionable to me. At the very least the boss could formally admonish the employee (Abmahnung), there is no time limit for that. And while an immediate dismissal (fristlose Kündigung) must happen within two weeks, that's two weeks from when the employer learns about an incident. So it looks like the boss is either misinformed, or actively stalling.
    – sleske
    4 hours ago
















7












7








7







A friend of mine works in the social sector in Germany. She works at a school for mentally disabled children. The school is loosely related to "Waldorff"-Philosophy, which apparrenrly makes sexuality a taboo topic. She has told me several stories of a guy who continuously makes advances on female collegues, including her. He has a reputation to be someone to stay away from, but it's proving hard to take actions against him.



Most women don't immediately go to teachers because they see the acts done against them too minor to be mentioned (an inappropiate shoulder touch here, an unwanted hug there)
However my friend had an explicit experience where he wanted her to hug him, she refused and got in her car, but he pulled her out, forcefully hugged and kissed her despite her declining and struggles.
Later she learnt that a lot of girls have stories to share but never dare to. So we have a ton of minor stories and one major one. There might be more that are unknown so far.



The school has no HR department to speak of. My friend went to her supervisor roughly two to three months after the incident. He told her that he would have fired the guy immediately, but he said it's statute-barred by now. There also seens to be some fear in regard to her supervisors, as the harrassers mother apparently is a highly respected doctor at the workplace.
The higher-ups are generally aware of the situation but refuse to take action for "unknown reasons".
She has been told if one more "concrete incident" happens, they will let him go (and he will be banned from working in the social sector).
He does get called in monthly for talks about his behaviour but without effect.
He also behaves suspiciously around the mentally disabled children and teenagers, but it's much too vague for allegations.



What course of action can my friend take to make sure she, her collegues, and the children remain safe from the harrasser?










share|improve this question















A friend of mine works in the social sector in Germany. She works at a school for mentally disabled children. The school is loosely related to "Waldorff"-Philosophy, which apparrenrly makes sexuality a taboo topic. She has told me several stories of a guy who continuously makes advances on female collegues, including her. He has a reputation to be someone to stay away from, but it's proving hard to take actions against him.



Most women don't immediately go to teachers because they see the acts done against them too minor to be mentioned (an inappropiate shoulder touch here, an unwanted hug there)
However my friend had an explicit experience where he wanted her to hug him, she refused and got in her car, but he pulled her out, forcefully hugged and kissed her despite her declining and struggles.
Later she learnt that a lot of girls have stories to share but never dare to. So we have a ton of minor stories and one major one. There might be more that are unknown so far.



The school has no HR department to speak of. My friend went to her supervisor roughly two to three months after the incident. He told her that he would have fired the guy immediately, but he said it's statute-barred by now. There also seens to be some fear in regard to her supervisors, as the harrassers mother apparently is a highly respected doctor at the workplace.
The higher-ups are generally aware of the situation but refuse to take action for "unknown reasons".
She has been told if one more "concrete incident" happens, they will let him go (and he will be banned from working in the social sector).
He does get called in monthly for talks about his behaviour but without effect.
He also behaves suspiciously around the mentally disabled children and teenagers, but it's much too vague for allegations.



What course of action can my friend take to make sure she, her collegues, and the children remain safe from the harrasser?







unprofessional-behavior germany harassment sexual-harassment






share|improve this question















share|improve this question













share|improve this question




share|improve this question








edited 1 hour ago









user9993

1464




1464










asked 7 hours ago









anon

345138




345138








  • 1




    Just a note: The claim about the incident being "statute-barred" seems very questionable to me. At the very least the boss could formally admonish the employee (Abmahnung), there is no time limit for that. And while an immediate dismissal (fristlose Kündigung) must happen within two weeks, that's two weeks from when the employer learns about an incident. So it looks like the boss is either misinformed, or actively stalling.
    – sleske
    4 hours ago
















  • 1




    Just a note: The claim about the incident being "statute-barred" seems very questionable to me. At the very least the boss could formally admonish the employee (Abmahnung), there is no time limit for that. And while an immediate dismissal (fristlose Kündigung) must happen within two weeks, that's two weeks from when the employer learns about an incident. So it looks like the boss is either misinformed, or actively stalling.
    – sleske
    4 hours ago










1




1




Just a note: The claim about the incident being "statute-barred" seems very questionable to me. At the very least the boss could formally admonish the employee (Abmahnung), there is no time limit for that. And while an immediate dismissal (fristlose Kündigung) must happen within two weeks, that's two weeks from when the employer learns about an incident. So it looks like the boss is either misinformed, or actively stalling.
– sleske
4 hours ago






Just a note: The claim about the incident being "statute-barred" seems very questionable to me. At the very least the boss could formally admonish the employee (Abmahnung), there is no time limit for that. And while an immediate dismissal (fristlose Kündigung) must happen within two weeks, that's two weeks from when the employer learns about an incident. So it looks like the boss is either misinformed, or actively stalling.
– sleske
4 hours ago












3 Answers
3






active

oldest

votes


















10














What would you do if it was theft or a violent attack?

Do the same.




  • make sure they are clear sexual harassments or assaults (which your example is)

  • get a lawyer for legal advice and potentially sue

  • go to police and report the incident

  • file a complaint with the "Schulaufsichtsbehörde"


Schools, especially private ones have just like companies vested interests in downplaying or deflecting allegations.

By including the authorities you'll get a much higher chance that your grievance is taken seriously and consequently dealt with by objective third parties.






share|improve this answer































    8














    Forcibly hugging and kissing is not minor. It is likely assault and a criminal offense. Even in Germany, this should be grounds for firing.



    From what I have read, the statute of limitations on sexual assault is at least three years so I think the supervisor is avoiding taking action. This is extremely concerning considering this kind of sexual predator should not be working with mentally disabled children.



    I suggest escalating this to the police to press charges against the individual.



    Alternatively, you might consider sharing the story of a sexual predator working with mentally disabled children, including that the supervisor took no action after a criminal sexual assault, with local news media (TV or newspaper) or social media. This is the kind of story that goes viral and wins journalism awards.






    share|improve this answer























    • Regardless the supervisor said 3months is too late. What should she respond to that?
      – anon
      6 hours ago










    • @anon with a lawyer
      – bruglesco
      6 hours ago










    • While what you write is true, I don't see how this answers the question as asked, namely what action OP should take. Could you edit to clarify?
      – sleske
      4 hours ago






    • 1




      @anon Please see my rescued answer.
      – Eric
      4 hours ago






    • 6




      @anon If the supervisor said "3 months is too late", then she should say "I am quite sure that this is wrong. Could you show me where your information comes from? Anyway, if you refuse to act on my concerns, I would like that in writing from you, and then I will find a lawyer and hand it to them. "
      – gnasher729
      3 hours ago



















    5














    Document all those "minor" incidents towards you and strange behavior towards children with dates and witnesses. Then approach your superiors together.






    share|improve this answer





















      Your Answer








      StackExchange.ready(function() {
      var channelOptions = {
      tags: "".split(" "),
      id: "423"
      };
      initTagRenderer("".split(" "), "".split(" "), channelOptions);

      StackExchange.using("externalEditor", function() {
      // Have to fire editor after snippets, if snippets enabled
      if (StackExchange.settings.snippets.snippetsEnabled) {
      StackExchange.using("snippets", function() {
      createEditor();
      });
      }
      else {
      createEditor();
      }
      });

      function createEditor() {
      StackExchange.prepareEditor({
      heartbeatType: 'answer',
      autoActivateHeartbeat: false,
      convertImagesToLinks: false,
      noModals: true,
      showLowRepImageUploadWarning: true,
      reputationToPostImages: null,
      bindNavPrevention: true,
      postfix: "",
      imageUploader: {
      brandingHtml: "Powered by u003ca class="icon-imgur-white" href="https://imgur.com/"u003eu003c/au003e",
      contentPolicyHtml: "User contributions licensed under u003ca href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/"u003ecc by-sa 3.0 with attribution requiredu003c/au003e u003ca href="https://stackoverflow.com/legal/content-policy"u003e(content policy)u003c/au003e",
      allowUrls: true
      },
      noCode: true, onDemand: false,
      discardSelector: ".discard-answer"
      ,immediatelyShowMarkdownHelp:true
      });


      }
      });














      draft saved

      draft discarded


















      StackExchange.ready(
      function () {
      StackExchange.openid.initPostLogin('.new-post-login', 'https%3a%2f%2fworkplace.stackexchange.com%2fquestions%2f125196%2fmale-makes-several-female-co-workers-uncomfortable-what-course-of-action-to-tak%23new-answer', 'question_page');
      }
      );

      Post as a guest















      Required, but never shown




















      StackExchange.ready(function () {
      $("#show-editor-button input, #show-editor-button button").click(function () {
      var showEditor = function() {
      $("#show-editor-button").hide();
      $("#post-form").removeClass("dno");
      StackExchange.editor.finallyInit();
      };

      var useFancy = $(this).data('confirm-use-fancy');
      if(useFancy == 'True') {
      var popupTitle = $(this).data('confirm-fancy-title');
      var popupBody = $(this).data('confirm-fancy-body');
      var popupAccept = $(this).data('confirm-fancy-accept-button');

      $(this).loadPopup({
      url: '/post/self-answer-popup',
      loaded: function(popup) {
      var pTitle = $(popup).find('h2');
      var pBody = $(popup).find('.popup-body');
      var pSubmit = $(popup).find('.popup-submit');

      pTitle.text(popupTitle);
      pBody.html(popupBody);
      pSubmit.val(popupAccept).click(showEditor);
      }
      })
      } else{
      var confirmText = $(this).data('confirm-text');
      if (confirmText ? confirm(confirmText) : true) {
      showEditor();
      }
      }
      });
      });






      3 Answers
      3






      active

      oldest

      votes








      3 Answers
      3






      active

      oldest

      votes









      active

      oldest

      votes






      active

      oldest

      votes









      10














      What would you do if it was theft or a violent attack?

      Do the same.




      • make sure they are clear sexual harassments or assaults (which your example is)

      • get a lawyer for legal advice and potentially sue

      • go to police and report the incident

      • file a complaint with the "Schulaufsichtsbehörde"


      Schools, especially private ones have just like companies vested interests in downplaying or deflecting allegations.

      By including the authorities you'll get a much higher chance that your grievance is taken seriously and consequently dealt with by objective third parties.






      share|improve this answer




























        10














        What would you do if it was theft or a violent attack?

        Do the same.




        • make sure they are clear sexual harassments or assaults (which your example is)

        • get a lawyer for legal advice and potentially sue

        • go to police and report the incident

        • file a complaint with the "Schulaufsichtsbehörde"


        Schools, especially private ones have just like companies vested interests in downplaying or deflecting allegations.

        By including the authorities you'll get a much higher chance that your grievance is taken seriously and consequently dealt with by objective third parties.






        share|improve this answer


























          10












          10








          10






          What would you do if it was theft or a violent attack?

          Do the same.




          • make sure they are clear sexual harassments or assaults (which your example is)

          • get a lawyer for legal advice and potentially sue

          • go to police and report the incident

          • file a complaint with the "Schulaufsichtsbehörde"


          Schools, especially private ones have just like companies vested interests in downplaying or deflecting allegations.

          By including the authorities you'll get a much higher chance that your grievance is taken seriously and consequently dealt with by objective third parties.






          share|improve this answer














          What would you do if it was theft or a violent attack?

          Do the same.




          • make sure they are clear sexual harassments or assaults (which your example is)

          • get a lawyer for legal advice and potentially sue

          • go to police and report the incident

          • file a complaint with the "Schulaufsichtsbehörde"


          Schools, especially private ones have just like companies vested interests in downplaying or deflecting allegations.

          By including the authorities you'll get a much higher chance that your grievance is taken seriously and consequently dealt with by objective third parties.







          share|improve this answer














          share|improve this answer



          share|improve this answer








          edited 6 hours ago

























          answered 7 hours ago









          DigitalBlade969

          4,4081420




          4,4081420

























              8














              Forcibly hugging and kissing is not minor. It is likely assault and a criminal offense. Even in Germany, this should be grounds for firing.



              From what I have read, the statute of limitations on sexual assault is at least three years so I think the supervisor is avoiding taking action. This is extremely concerning considering this kind of sexual predator should not be working with mentally disabled children.



              I suggest escalating this to the police to press charges against the individual.



              Alternatively, you might consider sharing the story of a sexual predator working with mentally disabled children, including that the supervisor took no action after a criminal sexual assault, with local news media (TV or newspaper) or social media. This is the kind of story that goes viral and wins journalism awards.






              share|improve this answer























              • Regardless the supervisor said 3months is too late. What should she respond to that?
                – anon
                6 hours ago










              • @anon with a lawyer
                – bruglesco
                6 hours ago










              • While what you write is true, I don't see how this answers the question as asked, namely what action OP should take. Could you edit to clarify?
                – sleske
                4 hours ago






              • 1




                @anon Please see my rescued answer.
                – Eric
                4 hours ago






              • 6




                @anon If the supervisor said "3 months is too late", then she should say "I am quite sure that this is wrong. Could you show me where your information comes from? Anyway, if you refuse to act on my concerns, I would like that in writing from you, and then I will find a lawyer and hand it to them. "
                – gnasher729
                3 hours ago
















              8














              Forcibly hugging and kissing is not minor. It is likely assault and a criminal offense. Even in Germany, this should be grounds for firing.



              From what I have read, the statute of limitations on sexual assault is at least three years so I think the supervisor is avoiding taking action. This is extremely concerning considering this kind of sexual predator should not be working with mentally disabled children.



              I suggest escalating this to the police to press charges against the individual.



              Alternatively, you might consider sharing the story of a sexual predator working with mentally disabled children, including that the supervisor took no action after a criminal sexual assault, with local news media (TV or newspaper) or social media. This is the kind of story that goes viral and wins journalism awards.






              share|improve this answer























              • Regardless the supervisor said 3months is too late. What should she respond to that?
                – anon
                6 hours ago










              • @anon with a lawyer
                – bruglesco
                6 hours ago










              • While what you write is true, I don't see how this answers the question as asked, namely what action OP should take. Could you edit to clarify?
                – sleske
                4 hours ago






              • 1




                @anon Please see my rescued answer.
                – Eric
                4 hours ago






              • 6




                @anon If the supervisor said "3 months is too late", then she should say "I am quite sure that this is wrong. Could you show me where your information comes from? Anyway, if you refuse to act on my concerns, I would like that in writing from you, and then I will find a lawyer and hand it to them. "
                – gnasher729
                3 hours ago














              8












              8








              8






              Forcibly hugging and kissing is not minor. It is likely assault and a criminal offense. Even in Germany, this should be grounds for firing.



              From what I have read, the statute of limitations on sexual assault is at least three years so I think the supervisor is avoiding taking action. This is extremely concerning considering this kind of sexual predator should not be working with mentally disabled children.



              I suggest escalating this to the police to press charges against the individual.



              Alternatively, you might consider sharing the story of a sexual predator working with mentally disabled children, including that the supervisor took no action after a criminal sexual assault, with local news media (TV or newspaper) or social media. This is the kind of story that goes viral and wins journalism awards.






              share|improve this answer














              Forcibly hugging and kissing is not minor. It is likely assault and a criminal offense. Even in Germany, this should be grounds for firing.



              From what I have read, the statute of limitations on sexual assault is at least three years so I think the supervisor is avoiding taking action. This is extremely concerning considering this kind of sexual predator should not be working with mentally disabled children.



              I suggest escalating this to the police to press charges against the individual.



              Alternatively, you might consider sharing the story of a sexual predator working with mentally disabled children, including that the supervisor took no action after a criminal sexual assault, with local news media (TV or newspaper) or social media. This is the kind of story that goes viral and wins journalism awards.







              share|improve this answer














              share|improve this answer



              share|improve this answer








              edited 3 hours ago

























              answered 7 hours ago









              Eric

              4,46211227




              4,46211227












              • Regardless the supervisor said 3months is too late. What should she respond to that?
                – anon
                6 hours ago










              • @anon with a lawyer
                – bruglesco
                6 hours ago










              • While what you write is true, I don't see how this answers the question as asked, namely what action OP should take. Could you edit to clarify?
                – sleske
                4 hours ago






              • 1




                @anon Please see my rescued answer.
                – Eric
                4 hours ago






              • 6




                @anon If the supervisor said "3 months is too late", then she should say "I am quite sure that this is wrong. Could you show me where your information comes from? Anyway, if you refuse to act on my concerns, I would like that in writing from you, and then I will find a lawyer and hand it to them. "
                – gnasher729
                3 hours ago


















              • Regardless the supervisor said 3months is too late. What should she respond to that?
                – anon
                6 hours ago










              • @anon with a lawyer
                – bruglesco
                6 hours ago










              • While what you write is true, I don't see how this answers the question as asked, namely what action OP should take. Could you edit to clarify?
                – sleske
                4 hours ago






              • 1




                @anon Please see my rescued answer.
                – Eric
                4 hours ago






              • 6




                @anon If the supervisor said "3 months is too late", then she should say "I am quite sure that this is wrong. Could you show me where your information comes from? Anyway, if you refuse to act on my concerns, I would like that in writing from you, and then I will find a lawyer and hand it to them. "
                – gnasher729
                3 hours ago
















              Regardless the supervisor said 3months is too late. What should she respond to that?
              – anon
              6 hours ago




              Regardless the supervisor said 3months is too late. What should she respond to that?
              – anon
              6 hours ago












              @anon with a lawyer
              – bruglesco
              6 hours ago




              @anon with a lawyer
              – bruglesco
              6 hours ago












              While what you write is true, I don't see how this answers the question as asked, namely what action OP should take. Could you edit to clarify?
              – sleske
              4 hours ago




              While what you write is true, I don't see how this answers the question as asked, namely what action OP should take. Could you edit to clarify?
              – sleske
              4 hours ago




              1




              1




              @anon Please see my rescued answer.
              – Eric
              4 hours ago




              @anon Please see my rescued answer.
              – Eric
              4 hours ago




              6




              6




              @anon If the supervisor said "3 months is too late", then she should say "I am quite sure that this is wrong. Could you show me where your information comes from? Anyway, if you refuse to act on my concerns, I would like that in writing from you, and then I will find a lawyer and hand it to them. "
              – gnasher729
              3 hours ago




              @anon If the supervisor said "3 months is too late", then she should say "I am quite sure that this is wrong. Could you show me where your information comes from? Anyway, if you refuse to act on my concerns, I would like that in writing from you, and then I will find a lawyer and hand it to them. "
              – gnasher729
              3 hours ago











              5














              Document all those "minor" incidents towards you and strange behavior towards children with dates and witnesses. Then approach your superiors together.






              share|improve this answer


























                5














                Document all those "minor" incidents towards you and strange behavior towards children with dates and witnesses. Then approach your superiors together.






                share|improve this answer
























                  5












                  5








                  5






                  Document all those "minor" incidents towards you and strange behavior towards children with dates and witnesses. Then approach your superiors together.






                  share|improve this answer












                  Document all those "minor" incidents towards you and strange behavior towards children with dates and witnesses. Then approach your superiors together.







                  share|improve this answer












                  share|improve this answer



                  share|improve this answer










                  answered 7 hours ago









                  BigMadAndy

                  10.3k81951




                  10.3k81951






























                      draft saved

                      draft discarded




















































                      Thanks for contributing an answer to The Workplace Stack Exchange!


                      • Please be sure to answer the question. Provide details and share your research!

                      But avoid



                      • Asking for help, clarification, or responding to other answers.

                      • Making statements based on opinion; back them up with references or personal experience.


                      To learn more, see our tips on writing great answers.





                      Some of your past answers have not been well-received, and you're in danger of being blocked from answering.


                      Please pay close attention to the following guidance:


                      • Please be sure to answer the question. Provide details and share your research!

                      But avoid



                      • Asking for help, clarification, or responding to other answers.

                      • Making statements based on opinion; back them up with references or personal experience.


                      To learn more, see our tips on writing great answers.




                      draft saved


                      draft discarded














                      StackExchange.ready(
                      function () {
                      StackExchange.openid.initPostLogin('.new-post-login', 'https%3a%2f%2fworkplace.stackexchange.com%2fquestions%2f125196%2fmale-makes-several-female-co-workers-uncomfortable-what-course-of-action-to-tak%23new-answer', 'question_page');
                      }
                      );

                      Post as a guest















                      Required, but never shown





















































                      Required, but never shown














                      Required, but never shown












                      Required, but never shown







                      Required, but never shown

































                      Required, but never shown














                      Required, but never shown












                      Required, but never shown







                      Required, but never shown











                      Popular posts from this blog

                      404 Error Contact Form 7 ajax form submitting

                      How to know if a Active Directory user can login interactively

                      TypeError: fit_transform() missing 1 required positional argument: 'X'