How do you handle when someone tries to instill guilt in you?












2














From a perspective to hindrances to meditation this may fall under remorse and regrets, but not very apt in that sense.



Using Buddhist philosophy to get over and respond, how do you handle when someone tries to instil guilt in you, like trying to make you feel like you have done something wrong, you are a bad person, I am a victim, you are a perpetrator.



How to respond to such a person?



Sutta references are appreciated but otherwise, any workable answer adhering to keeping Buddhist precepts and practise is welcome.










share|improve this question



























    2














    From a perspective to hindrances to meditation this may fall under remorse and regrets, but not very apt in that sense.



    Using Buddhist philosophy to get over and respond, how do you handle when someone tries to instil guilt in you, like trying to make you feel like you have done something wrong, you are a bad person, I am a victim, you are a perpetrator.



    How to respond to such a person?



    Sutta references are appreciated but otherwise, any workable answer adhering to keeping Buddhist precepts and practise is welcome.










    share|improve this question

























      2












      2








      2







      From a perspective to hindrances to meditation this may fall under remorse and regrets, but not very apt in that sense.



      Using Buddhist philosophy to get over and respond, how do you handle when someone tries to instil guilt in you, like trying to make you feel like you have done something wrong, you are a bad person, I am a victim, you are a perpetrator.



      How to respond to such a person?



      Sutta references are appreciated but otherwise, any workable answer adhering to keeping Buddhist precepts and practise is welcome.










      share|improve this question













      From a perspective to hindrances to meditation this may fall under remorse and regrets, but not very apt in that sense.



      Using Buddhist philosophy to get over and respond, how do you handle when someone tries to instil guilt in you, like trying to make you feel like you have done something wrong, you are a bad person, I am a victim, you are a perpetrator.



      How to respond to such a person?



      Sutta references are appreciated but otherwise, any workable answer adhering to keeping Buddhist precepts and practise is welcome.







      personal-practice reference-request






      share|improve this question













      share|improve this question











      share|improve this question




      share|improve this question










      asked 9 hours ago









      XIkkyuX

      415




      415






















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          The important thing to do is to have in mind that these people are puthujjanas, so they are bound to be awful, especially when they think something bad is happening to them.
          now the puthujjana who receives this ''attack'' better have equanimity.



          If this happens too much, then the solution is to no longer live around people who try to make you feel sad. It is hard, especially when it is people in the family, but separating yourself from bad puthujjanas in order to live with the meritorious puthujjanas and non-puthujjanas who train for the noble path is the way to have sati, and ultimately to be awaken, like the buddha tells Ananda in the Upaddha Sutta.



          For the ''sutta reference'' you can read the Akkosa Sutta where the buddha is insulted by some puthujjana and the buddha replies that he does not take up the insults.






          share|improve this answer










          New contributor




          Nachtflug is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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            1
















            1. Then the Exalted One, realizing the turn their discussion had taken, entered the pavilion, sat down on the prepared seat, and
              addressed the bhikkhus: "What kind of discussion were you holding just
              now, bhikkhus? What was the subject of your conversation?"


            The bhikkhus replied: "When dawn had broken, Lord, after rising we
            assembled in the pavilion. As we sat here, the following conversation
            sprang up among us: 'It is wonderful and marvellous friends, how the
            Exalted One, he who knows and sees, the Worthy One, the perfectly
            enlightened Buddha, has so thoroughly penetrated the diversity in the
            dispositions of beings. For this wanderer Suppiya spoke in many ways
            in dispraise of the Buddha, the Dhamma, and the Sangha, while his own
            pupil, the youth Brahmadatta, spoke in many ways in their praise.
            These two, teacher and pupil, followed closely behind the Exalted One
            and the company of bhikkhus, making assertions in direct contradiction
            to each other.' This, Lord, was the conversation we were having when
            the Exalted One arrived."




            1. "If, bhikkhus, others speak in dispraise of me, or in dispraise of the Dhamma, or in dispraise of the Sangha, you should not give way to
              resentment, displeasure, or animosity against them in your heart. For
              if you were to become angry or upset in such a situation, you would
              only be creating an obstacle for yourselves. If you were to become
              angry or upset when others speak in dispraise of us, would you be able
              to recognize whether their statements are rightly or wrongly spoken?"


            "Certainly not, Lord."



            "If, bhikkhus, others speak in dispraise of me, or in dispraise of the
            Dhamma, or in dispraise of the Sangha, you should unravel what is
            false and point it out as false, saying: 'For such and such a reason
            this is false, this is untrue, there is no such thing in us, this is
            not found among us.'




            1. "And if, bhikkhus, others speak in praise of me, or in praise of the Dhamma, or in praise of the Sangha, you should not give way to
              jubilation, joy, and exultation in your heart. For if you were to
              become jubilant, joyful, and exultant in such a situation, you would
              only be creating an obstacle for yourselves. If others speak in praise
              of me, or in praise of the Dhamma, or in praise of the Sangha, you
              should acknowledge what is fact as fact, saying: 'For such and such a
              reason this is a fact, this is true, there is such a thing in us, this
              is found among us.'




            Brahmajala sutta



            There is what people say, and how people say it. Concentrate on whether what they say is accurate or not, and act accordingly.



            Past and present experience only offers two choices - suffering or learning. Guilt is mostly not useful in that it clouds a reasoned analysis of what the issue is - it embraces suffering over learning. Those that have learnt from their errors, don't feel guilty for their errors, as they have gotten all they can from them, and laid them aside.



            If someone still demands guilt from you when you have already learnt your lesson, they likely need to learn that suffering is not permanent.






            share|improve this answer





























              1














              Householders,



              may Venerable fellows, in front and behind, have the compassion for many to possible correct failures and also fill up graps if traced here.



              After having put away foolish thought of believing that equanimity is the highest, even supportive, in such cases:



              The first one may do in such a situation, when one gets touched unpleased, better feels that way, is to remind on the very importand Dhammapada stanza, that nobody is of more support as someone pointing out ones failure and in the case of even a wise person, one should stick and hold on such a person.



              The second thought is possible given to remind oneself that there are actually very less how would tell one a fault, having other interests in the back and that it is also not so general possible to get the chance of a possible very releasing way for a even personal pardon of a transgression.



              Being urged by those reminders one should take all his effort and capacity to reconstruct the case, piece by piece, and most importand, with sacca, ujju!, to get not cheated by ones defilement and miss a great opportunity. Possible ask an admirable friend to help in strong cross-questioning.



              If, after real trought-full investigation, it is clear that it's either a missunderstood situation, a unlucky and not right blame, or what ever away from what was fact (done), one does not need to take the given and it will stay his/her's, or as a teacher here once told (a little to quick, on fb), "If someone calls you an ox, look if it is like that, inspecting your back" (retold in it's message, not sure if able to find the original, having been banned because of lifting certain critic on another "lost in short cuts").



              The many proper approaches further and for each case, would require all detail case by case actions according the whole circumstances. But as already told by the Sublime Buddha to his son, good to clear such cases with an admirable (dhammika) friend/teacher/guide and it might be that the "insulter" actually is the proper one.



              [Note: This here is not given for any worldly exchange, trade, stackes, commercial use, dirct or indirect, and may be needed to be deleted if the circumstances do not allow such gifts.]






              share|improve this answer





















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                The important thing to do is to have in mind that these people are puthujjanas, so they are bound to be awful, especially when they think something bad is happening to them.
                now the puthujjana who receives this ''attack'' better have equanimity.



                If this happens too much, then the solution is to no longer live around people who try to make you feel sad. It is hard, especially when it is people in the family, but separating yourself from bad puthujjanas in order to live with the meritorious puthujjanas and non-puthujjanas who train for the noble path is the way to have sati, and ultimately to be awaken, like the buddha tells Ananda in the Upaddha Sutta.



                For the ''sutta reference'' you can read the Akkosa Sutta where the buddha is insulted by some puthujjana and the buddha replies that he does not take up the insults.






                share|improve this answer










                New contributor




                Nachtflug is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                Check out our Code of Conduct.























                  2














                  The important thing to do is to have in mind that these people are puthujjanas, so they are bound to be awful, especially when they think something bad is happening to them.
                  now the puthujjana who receives this ''attack'' better have equanimity.



                  If this happens too much, then the solution is to no longer live around people who try to make you feel sad. It is hard, especially when it is people in the family, but separating yourself from bad puthujjanas in order to live with the meritorious puthujjanas and non-puthujjanas who train for the noble path is the way to have sati, and ultimately to be awaken, like the buddha tells Ananda in the Upaddha Sutta.



                  For the ''sutta reference'' you can read the Akkosa Sutta where the buddha is insulted by some puthujjana and the buddha replies that he does not take up the insults.






                  share|improve this answer










                  New contributor




                  Nachtflug is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                  Check out our Code of Conduct.





















                    2












                    2








                    2






                    The important thing to do is to have in mind that these people are puthujjanas, so they are bound to be awful, especially when they think something bad is happening to them.
                    now the puthujjana who receives this ''attack'' better have equanimity.



                    If this happens too much, then the solution is to no longer live around people who try to make you feel sad. It is hard, especially when it is people in the family, but separating yourself from bad puthujjanas in order to live with the meritorious puthujjanas and non-puthujjanas who train for the noble path is the way to have sati, and ultimately to be awaken, like the buddha tells Ananda in the Upaddha Sutta.



                    For the ''sutta reference'' you can read the Akkosa Sutta where the buddha is insulted by some puthujjana and the buddha replies that he does not take up the insults.






                    share|improve this answer










                    New contributor




                    Nachtflug is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                    Check out our Code of Conduct.









                    The important thing to do is to have in mind that these people are puthujjanas, so they are bound to be awful, especially when they think something bad is happening to them.
                    now the puthujjana who receives this ''attack'' better have equanimity.



                    If this happens too much, then the solution is to no longer live around people who try to make you feel sad. It is hard, especially when it is people in the family, but separating yourself from bad puthujjanas in order to live with the meritorious puthujjanas and non-puthujjanas who train for the noble path is the way to have sati, and ultimately to be awaken, like the buddha tells Ananda in the Upaddha Sutta.



                    For the ''sutta reference'' you can read the Akkosa Sutta where the buddha is insulted by some puthujjana and the buddha replies that he does not take up the insults.







                    share|improve this answer










                    New contributor




                    Nachtflug is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                    Check out our Code of Conduct.









                    share|improve this answer



                    share|improve this answer








                    edited 7 hours ago









                    ChrisW

                    29k42484




                    29k42484






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                    answered 7 hours ago









                    Nachtflug

                    472




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                        1
















                        1. Then the Exalted One, realizing the turn their discussion had taken, entered the pavilion, sat down on the prepared seat, and
                          addressed the bhikkhus: "What kind of discussion were you holding just
                          now, bhikkhus? What was the subject of your conversation?"


                        The bhikkhus replied: "When dawn had broken, Lord, after rising we
                        assembled in the pavilion. As we sat here, the following conversation
                        sprang up among us: 'It is wonderful and marvellous friends, how the
                        Exalted One, he who knows and sees, the Worthy One, the perfectly
                        enlightened Buddha, has so thoroughly penetrated the diversity in the
                        dispositions of beings. For this wanderer Suppiya spoke in many ways
                        in dispraise of the Buddha, the Dhamma, and the Sangha, while his own
                        pupil, the youth Brahmadatta, spoke in many ways in their praise.
                        These two, teacher and pupil, followed closely behind the Exalted One
                        and the company of bhikkhus, making assertions in direct contradiction
                        to each other.' This, Lord, was the conversation we were having when
                        the Exalted One arrived."




                        1. "If, bhikkhus, others speak in dispraise of me, or in dispraise of the Dhamma, or in dispraise of the Sangha, you should not give way to
                          resentment, displeasure, or animosity against them in your heart. For
                          if you were to become angry or upset in such a situation, you would
                          only be creating an obstacle for yourselves. If you were to become
                          angry or upset when others speak in dispraise of us, would you be able
                          to recognize whether their statements are rightly or wrongly spoken?"


                        "Certainly not, Lord."



                        "If, bhikkhus, others speak in dispraise of me, or in dispraise of the
                        Dhamma, or in dispraise of the Sangha, you should unravel what is
                        false and point it out as false, saying: 'For such and such a reason
                        this is false, this is untrue, there is no such thing in us, this is
                        not found among us.'




                        1. "And if, bhikkhus, others speak in praise of me, or in praise of the Dhamma, or in praise of the Sangha, you should not give way to
                          jubilation, joy, and exultation in your heart. For if you were to
                          become jubilant, joyful, and exultant in such a situation, you would
                          only be creating an obstacle for yourselves. If others speak in praise
                          of me, or in praise of the Dhamma, or in praise of the Sangha, you
                          should acknowledge what is fact as fact, saying: 'For such and such a
                          reason this is a fact, this is true, there is such a thing in us, this
                          is found among us.'




                        Brahmajala sutta



                        There is what people say, and how people say it. Concentrate on whether what they say is accurate or not, and act accordingly.



                        Past and present experience only offers two choices - suffering or learning. Guilt is mostly not useful in that it clouds a reasoned analysis of what the issue is - it embraces suffering over learning. Those that have learnt from their errors, don't feel guilty for their errors, as they have gotten all they can from them, and laid them aside.



                        If someone still demands guilt from you when you have already learnt your lesson, they likely need to learn that suffering is not permanent.






                        share|improve this answer


























                          1
















                          1. Then the Exalted One, realizing the turn their discussion had taken, entered the pavilion, sat down on the prepared seat, and
                            addressed the bhikkhus: "What kind of discussion were you holding just
                            now, bhikkhus? What was the subject of your conversation?"


                          The bhikkhus replied: "When dawn had broken, Lord, after rising we
                          assembled in the pavilion. As we sat here, the following conversation
                          sprang up among us: 'It is wonderful and marvellous friends, how the
                          Exalted One, he who knows and sees, the Worthy One, the perfectly
                          enlightened Buddha, has so thoroughly penetrated the diversity in the
                          dispositions of beings. For this wanderer Suppiya spoke in many ways
                          in dispraise of the Buddha, the Dhamma, and the Sangha, while his own
                          pupil, the youth Brahmadatta, spoke in many ways in their praise.
                          These two, teacher and pupil, followed closely behind the Exalted One
                          and the company of bhikkhus, making assertions in direct contradiction
                          to each other.' This, Lord, was the conversation we were having when
                          the Exalted One arrived."




                          1. "If, bhikkhus, others speak in dispraise of me, or in dispraise of the Dhamma, or in dispraise of the Sangha, you should not give way to
                            resentment, displeasure, or animosity against them in your heart. For
                            if you were to become angry or upset in such a situation, you would
                            only be creating an obstacle for yourselves. If you were to become
                            angry or upset when others speak in dispraise of us, would you be able
                            to recognize whether their statements are rightly or wrongly spoken?"


                          "Certainly not, Lord."



                          "If, bhikkhus, others speak in dispraise of me, or in dispraise of the
                          Dhamma, or in dispraise of the Sangha, you should unravel what is
                          false and point it out as false, saying: 'For such and such a reason
                          this is false, this is untrue, there is no such thing in us, this is
                          not found among us.'




                          1. "And if, bhikkhus, others speak in praise of me, or in praise of the Dhamma, or in praise of the Sangha, you should not give way to
                            jubilation, joy, and exultation in your heart. For if you were to
                            become jubilant, joyful, and exultant in such a situation, you would
                            only be creating an obstacle for yourselves. If others speak in praise
                            of me, or in praise of the Dhamma, or in praise of the Sangha, you
                            should acknowledge what is fact as fact, saying: 'For such and such a
                            reason this is a fact, this is true, there is such a thing in us, this
                            is found among us.'




                          Brahmajala sutta



                          There is what people say, and how people say it. Concentrate on whether what they say is accurate or not, and act accordingly.



                          Past and present experience only offers two choices - suffering or learning. Guilt is mostly not useful in that it clouds a reasoned analysis of what the issue is - it embraces suffering over learning. Those that have learnt from their errors, don't feel guilty for their errors, as they have gotten all they can from them, and laid them aside.



                          If someone still demands guilt from you when you have already learnt your lesson, they likely need to learn that suffering is not permanent.






                          share|improve this answer
























                            1












                            1








                            1








                            1. Then the Exalted One, realizing the turn their discussion had taken, entered the pavilion, sat down on the prepared seat, and
                              addressed the bhikkhus: "What kind of discussion were you holding just
                              now, bhikkhus? What was the subject of your conversation?"


                            The bhikkhus replied: "When dawn had broken, Lord, after rising we
                            assembled in the pavilion. As we sat here, the following conversation
                            sprang up among us: 'It is wonderful and marvellous friends, how the
                            Exalted One, he who knows and sees, the Worthy One, the perfectly
                            enlightened Buddha, has so thoroughly penetrated the diversity in the
                            dispositions of beings. For this wanderer Suppiya spoke in many ways
                            in dispraise of the Buddha, the Dhamma, and the Sangha, while his own
                            pupil, the youth Brahmadatta, spoke in many ways in their praise.
                            These two, teacher and pupil, followed closely behind the Exalted One
                            and the company of bhikkhus, making assertions in direct contradiction
                            to each other.' This, Lord, was the conversation we were having when
                            the Exalted One arrived."




                            1. "If, bhikkhus, others speak in dispraise of me, or in dispraise of the Dhamma, or in dispraise of the Sangha, you should not give way to
                              resentment, displeasure, or animosity against them in your heart. For
                              if you were to become angry or upset in such a situation, you would
                              only be creating an obstacle for yourselves. If you were to become
                              angry or upset when others speak in dispraise of us, would you be able
                              to recognize whether their statements are rightly or wrongly spoken?"


                            "Certainly not, Lord."



                            "If, bhikkhus, others speak in dispraise of me, or in dispraise of the
                            Dhamma, or in dispraise of the Sangha, you should unravel what is
                            false and point it out as false, saying: 'For such and such a reason
                            this is false, this is untrue, there is no such thing in us, this is
                            not found among us.'




                            1. "And if, bhikkhus, others speak in praise of me, or in praise of the Dhamma, or in praise of the Sangha, you should not give way to
                              jubilation, joy, and exultation in your heart. For if you were to
                              become jubilant, joyful, and exultant in such a situation, you would
                              only be creating an obstacle for yourselves. If others speak in praise
                              of me, or in praise of the Dhamma, or in praise of the Sangha, you
                              should acknowledge what is fact as fact, saying: 'For such and such a
                              reason this is a fact, this is true, there is such a thing in us, this
                              is found among us.'




                            Brahmajala sutta



                            There is what people say, and how people say it. Concentrate on whether what they say is accurate or not, and act accordingly.



                            Past and present experience only offers two choices - suffering or learning. Guilt is mostly not useful in that it clouds a reasoned analysis of what the issue is - it embraces suffering over learning. Those that have learnt from their errors, don't feel guilty for their errors, as they have gotten all they can from them, and laid them aside.



                            If someone still demands guilt from you when you have already learnt your lesson, they likely need to learn that suffering is not permanent.






                            share|improve this answer














                            1. Then the Exalted One, realizing the turn their discussion had taken, entered the pavilion, sat down on the prepared seat, and
                              addressed the bhikkhus: "What kind of discussion were you holding just
                              now, bhikkhus? What was the subject of your conversation?"


                            The bhikkhus replied: "When dawn had broken, Lord, after rising we
                            assembled in the pavilion. As we sat here, the following conversation
                            sprang up among us: 'It is wonderful and marvellous friends, how the
                            Exalted One, he who knows and sees, the Worthy One, the perfectly
                            enlightened Buddha, has so thoroughly penetrated the diversity in the
                            dispositions of beings. For this wanderer Suppiya spoke in many ways
                            in dispraise of the Buddha, the Dhamma, and the Sangha, while his own
                            pupil, the youth Brahmadatta, spoke in many ways in their praise.
                            These two, teacher and pupil, followed closely behind the Exalted One
                            and the company of bhikkhus, making assertions in direct contradiction
                            to each other.' This, Lord, was the conversation we were having when
                            the Exalted One arrived."




                            1. "If, bhikkhus, others speak in dispraise of me, or in dispraise of the Dhamma, or in dispraise of the Sangha, you should not give way to
                              resentment, displeasure, or animosity against them in your heart. For
                              if you were to become angry or upset in such a situation, you would
                              only be creating an obstacle for yourselves. If you were to become
                              angry or upset when others speak in dispraise of us, would you be able
                              to recognize whether their statements are rightly or wrongly spoken?"


                            "Certainly not, Lord."



                            "If, bhikkhus, others speak in dispraise of me, or in dispraise of the
                            Dhamma, or in dispraise of the Sangha, you should unravel what is
                            false and point it out as false, saying: 'For such and such a reason
                            this is false, this is untrue, there is no such thing in us, this is
                            not found among us.'




                            1. "And if, bhikkhus, others speak in praise of me, or in praise of the Dhamma, or in praise of the Sangha, you should not give way to
                              jubilation, joy, and exultation in your heart. For if you were to
                              become jubilant, joyful, and exultant in such a situation, you would
                              only be creating an obstacle for yourselves. If others speak in praise
                              of me, or in praise of the Dhamma, or in praise of the Sangha, you
                              should acknowledge what is fact as fact, saying: 'For such and such a
                              reason this is a fact, this is true, there is such a thing in us, this
                              is found among us.'




                            Brahmajala sutta



                            There is what people say, and how people say it. Concentrate on whether what they say is accurate or not, and act accordingly.



                            Past and present experience only offers two choices - suffering or learning. Guilt is mostly not useful in that it clouds a reasoned analysis of what the issue is - it embraces suffering over learning. Those that have learnt from their errors, don't feel guilty for their errors, as they have gotten all they can from them, and laid them aside.



                            If someone still demands guilt from you when you have already learnt your lesson, they likely need to learn that suffering is not permanent.







                            share|improve this answer












                            share|improve this answer



                            share|improve this answer










                            answered 2 hours ago









                            Ilya Grushevskiy

                            1,520511




                            1,520511























                                1














                                Householders,



                                may Venerable fellows, in front and behind, have the compassion for many to possible correct failures and also fill up graps if traced here.



                                After having put away foolish thought of believing that equanimity is the highest, even supportive, in such cases:



                                The first one may do in such a situation, when one gets touched unpleased, better feels that way, is to remind on the very importand Dhammapada stanza, that nobody is of more support as someone pointing out ones failure and in the case of even a wise person, one should stick and hold on such a person.



                                The second thought is possible given to remind oneself that there are actually very less how would tell one a fault, having other interests in the back and that it is also not so general possible to get the chance of a possible very releasing way for a even personal pardon of a transgression.



                                Being urged by those reminders one should take all his effort and capacity to reconstruct the case, piece by piece, and most importand, with sacca, ujju!, to get not cheated by ones defilement and miss a great opportunity. Possible ask an admirable friend to help in strong cross-questioning.



                                If, after real trought-full investigation, it is clear that it's either a missunderstood situation, a unlucky and not right blame, or what ever away from what was fact (done), one does not need to take the given and it will stay his/her's, or as a teacher here once told (a little to quick, on fb), "If someone calls you an ox, look if it is like that, inspecting your back" (retold in it's message, not sure if able to find the original, having been banned because of lifting certain critic on another "lost in short cuts").



                                The many proper approaches further and for each case, would require all detail case by case actions according the whole circumstances. But as already told by the Sublime Buddha to his son, good to clear such cases with an admirable (dhammika) friend/teacher/guide and it might be that the "insulter" actually is the proper one.



                                [Note: This here is not given for any worldly exchange, trade, stackes, commercial use, dirct or indirect, and may be needed to be deleted if the circumstances do not allow such gifts.]






                                share|improve this answer


























                                  1














                                  Householders,



                                  may Venerable fellows, in front and behind, have the compassion for many to possible correct failures and also fill up graps if traced here.



                                  After having put away foolish thought of believing that equanimity is the highest, even supportive, in such cases:



                                  The first one may do in such a situation, when one gets touched unpleased, better feels that way, is to remind on the very importand Dhammapada stanza, that nobody is of more support as someone pointing out ones failure and in the case of even a wise person, one should stick and hold on such a person.



                                  The second thought is possible given to remind oneself that there are actually very less how would tell one a fault, having other interests in the back and that it is also not so general possible to get the chance of a possible very releasing way for a even personal pardon of a transgression.



                                  Being urged by those reminders one should take all his effort and capacity to reconstruct the case, piece by piece, and most importand, with sacca, ujju!, to get not cheated by ones defilement and miss a great opportunity. Possible ask an admirable friend to help in strong cross-questioning.



                                  If, after real trought-full investigation, it is clear that it's either a missunderstood situation, a unlucky and not right blame, or what ever away from what was fact (done), one does not need to take the given and it will stay his/her's, or as a teacher here once told (a little to quick, on fb), "If someone calls you an ox, look if it is like that, inspecting your back" (retold in it's message, not sure if able to find the original, having been banned because of lifting certain critic on another "lost in short cuts").



                                  The many proper approaches further and for each case, would require all detail case by case actions according the whole circumstances. But as already told by the Sublime Buddha to his son, good to clear such cases with an admirable (dhammika) friend/teacher/guide and it might be that the "insulter" actually is the proper one.



                                  [Note: This here is not given for any worldly exchange, trade, stackes, commercial use, dirct or indirect, and may be needed to be deleted if the circumstances do not allow such gifts.]






                                  share|improve this answer
























                                    1












                                    1








                                    1






                                    Householders,



                                    may Venerable fellows, in front and behind, have the compassion for many to possible correct failures and also fill up graps if traced here.



                                    After having put away foolish thought of believing that equanimity is the highest, even supportive, in such cases:



                                    The first one may do in such a situation, when one gets touched unpleased, better feels that way, is to remind on the very importand Dhammapada stanza, that nobody is of more support as someone pointing out ones failure and in the case of even a wise person, one should stick and hold on such a person.



                                    The second thought is possible given to remind oneself that there are actually very less how would tell one a fault, having other interests in the back and that it is also not so general possible to get the chance of a possible very releasing way for a even personal pardon of a transgression.



                                    Being urged by those reminders one should take all his effort and capacity to reconstruct the case, piece by piece, and most importand, with sacca, ujju!, to get not cheated by ones defilement and miss a great opportunity. Possible ask an admirable friend to help in strong cross-questioning.



                                    If, after real trought-full investigation, it is clear that it's either a missunderstood situation, a unlucky and not right blame, or what ever away from what was fact (done), one does not need to take the given and it will stay his/her's, or as a teacher here once told (a little to quick, on fb), "If someone calls you an ox, look if it is like that, inspecting your back" (retold in it's message, not sure if able to find the original, having been banned because of lifting certain critic on another "lost in short cuts").



                                    The many proper approaches further and for each case, would require all detail case by case actions according the whole circumstances. But as already told by the Sublime Buddha to his son, good to clear such cases with an admirable (dhammika) friend/teacher/guide and it might be that the "insulter" actually is the proper one.



                                    [Note: This here is not given for any worldly exchange, trade, stackes, commercial use, dirct or indirect, and may be needed to be deleted if the circumstances do not allow such gifts.]






                                    share|improve this answer












                                    Householders,



                                    may Venerable fellows, in front and behind, have the compassion for many to possible correct failures and also fill up graps if traced here.



                                    After having put away foolish thought of believing that equanimity is the highest, even supportive, in such cases:



                                    The first one may do in such a situation, when one gets touched unpleased, better feels that way, is to remind on the very importand Dhammapada stanza, that nobody is of more support as someone pointing out ones failure and in the case of even a wise person, one should stick and hold on such a person.



                                    The second thought is possible given to remind oneself that there are actually very less how would tell one a fault, having other interests in the back and that it is also not so general possible to get the chance of a possible very releasing way for a even personal pardon of a transgression.



                                    Being urged by those reminders one should take all his effort and capacity to reconstruct the case, piece by piece, and most importand, with sacca, ujju!, to get not cheated by ones defilement and miss a great opportunity. Possible ask an admirable friend to help in strong cross-questioning.



                                    If, after real trought-full investigation, it is clear that it's either a missunderstood situation, a unlucky and not right blame, or what ever away from what was fact (done), one does not need to take the given and it will stay his/her's, or as a teacher here once told (a little to quick, on fb), "If someone calls you an ox, look if it is like that, inspecting your back" (retold in it's message, not sure if able to find the original, having been banned because of lifting certain critic on another "lost in short cuts").



                                    The many proper approaches further and for each case, would require all detail case by case actions according the whole circumstances. But as already told by the Sublime Buddha to his son, good to clear such cases with an admirable (dhammika) friend/teacher/guide and it might be that the "insulter" actually is the proper one.



                                    [Note: This here is not given for any worldly exchange, trade, stackes, commercial use, dirct or indirect, and may be needed to be deleted if the circumstances do not allow such gifts.]







                                    share|improve this answer












                                    share|improve this answer



                                    share|improve this answer










                                    answered 2 hours ago









                                    Samana Johann

                                    964




                                    964






























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